Ice Seguerra opens up on depression: 'I’m just happy to feel things again'

MANILA, Philippines – Singer Ice Seguerra has opened up about his experience with depression, saying that it was something he has been diagnosed with since the early 2000s, and continues to struggle with today.

In an Instagram post on October 2, Ice said that when he was first diagnosed with depression, he initially underwent therapy, but eventually stopped taking medications and seeing his doctor.

Mula noon (from then on), I just lived with it. It's like a cloud hovering, hindi mo alam kung kelan ka tatamaan (you don’t know when it’s going to hit you),” he said.

There are days na ok lang, kaya kong dalhin. Pero may mga araw din na gusto mo na lang matapos lahat, kasi pagod ka na (There are days that are okay, I can manage. But there are days that you just want everything to end, because you’re tired).”

View this post on Instagram I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety since the early 2000's. Did some therapy back then but I stopped taking my meds and hindi na ako nagpakita sa doctor ko (bad move). Mula noon, I just lived with it. It's like a cloud hovering, hindi mo alam kung kelan ka tatamaan. There are days na ok lang, kaya kong dalhin. Pero may mga araw din na gusto mo na lang matapos lahat, kasi pagod ka na. My latest trigger was my short stint sa government coz everything changed and it got worse when I resigned and went back to the industry I thought I knew. Suddenly, I felt like an outsider. Parang first timer na I had to navigate my way through things again. I felt lost and displaced. For the longest time, I wasn't really feeling anything. I was numb. The things that would normally make me happy or excite me, wala akong pakiramdam. I decided to see my doctor again when it started affecting my work and my relationship. I'm already introverted but at the height of my depression, i just wanted to be alone. Not get out of bed. No strength to get out of the room. Ayokong makakita ng tao. If I have work, kumakanta ako pero wala akong nararamdamang kaba, lungkot o saya. Walang empathy. Walang passion. Wala. Kumanta LANG ako. When it started to affect my relationship with Liza and other people I love, I knew I needed professional help. Bumalik ako sa doctor ko early this year and I'm glad I went back to her. I'm starting to feel things again. Mas na eexcite na ako ulit about life. Yes, there are moments na I feel sad but mas madalas na nakakaramdam ako ng saya. I have a strong support group and right now, I'm just happy to feel things again. A post shared by Ice Diño Seguerra (@iceseguerra) on Oct 1, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT

Ice said that his latest episode was triggered by his stint in government “coz everything changed and it got worse when I resigned and went back to the industry I thought I knew.”

“Suddenly, I felt like an outsider. Parang (like) a first timer na I had to navigate my way through things again. I felt lost and displaced,” he said.

Ice, who grew up in showbiz as a child actor and singer, served as the chairperson for the National Youth Commission for over a year and a half. He was appointed by President Rodrigo Duterte in August 2016, and resigned from his post in March 2018.

Ice then described a period where he felt numb to everything, saying “the things that would normally make me happy or excite me, wala akong pakiramdam (I felt nothing).”

He said he decided to see his doctor again earlier in the year when his depression began to affect his work and his relationship with his wife Liza Diño and his other loved ones.

“I’m already introverted but at the height of my depression, i just wanted to be alone. Not get out of bed. No strength to get out of the room. Ayokong makakita ng tao (I didn't want to see people),” he wrote.

“If I have work, kumakanta ako pero wala akong nararamdamang kaba, lungkot o saya. Walang empathy. Walang passion. Wala. Kumanta LANG ako (I would sing, but I did not feel nerves, sadness, or happiness. No empathy. No passion. Nothing. I just sang).”

Ice ended his post on a hopeful note.

“I’m starting to feel things again. Mas na eexcite na ako ulit about life (I’m becoming more excited about life). Yes, there are moments na I feel sad but mas madalas na nakakaramdam ako ng saya (I feel joy more often now)," he said.

"I have a strong support group and right now, I'm just happy to feel things again.” – Rappler.com