‘Marriage is a Marathon’: Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan and Anthony Pangilinan write on love and running

MANILA, Philippines – Actress Maricel Laxa-Pangilinan and management consultant Anthony Pangilinan have always been a power couple, quite literally: they’ve done 17 42.2-kilometer marathons between them and have experienced several Ironman triathlons, and they also involve their kids in challenging physical activities.

Their latest project is a nod to this: the non-fiction book Marriage is a Marathon, which offers relationship advice within the context of their love for physical challenges.

Rappler interviewed Maricel online about the release of their latest joint project, which also coincides with their 30th wedding anniversary:

When did the idea of writing a book together first start? 

I first shared the idea of writing our book on marriage when I realized that we were nearing our 25th wedding anniversary and I thought that it would be great to celebrate by sharing about our journey together.

What was the process behind getting the book published? What were the highlights and challenges of this process? 

Like most of our other books, we self-published this book. The biggest challenge was time. Both Anthony and I have been very busy that it took five years to actually finish the book. It took a really solid team to get us going.

Marriage is a Marathon – ultimately, why choose this title for the book? And who do you believe is your target reader?

Anthony and I have run marathons around the world, and throughout our journey of preparing, racing, and recovering from such marathons, we realized that the lessons we have learned apply to everything in life, most especially in marriage, as we had gone through them together.

For each of you, which part in the book is your favorite and why?

For Anthony, his favorite would be the chapter on making a decision. In anything, the most important aspect of getting something started is to actually make the decision to do it. Once you commit, you stick by that and if you encounter challenges, there is nobody to blame. The key is to welcome those challenges and to go back to the very reasons why you decided in the first place and keep “running.”

For me, my most favorite would be the part on taking your loved ones with you. I have always been motivated by activities that involve my family. I guess it is also a joy to journey with family, so our story is told as we live it, and then there is more understanding about why we do things and for who we do them. It is also a joy to be able to lean on family for support, and then to be cheered on, and then told the things only family can have the courage to share and then be transformed.

Maricel, you have a Master’s Degree in Family Life and Child Development from UP Diliman – how much of your education has informed how you’ve written this book? Similarly, has being an actress/showbiz personality also informed how you write?

My Master’s Degree in FLCD as well as my Doctorate in Theology have been great tools in arming me with the discipline needed to dive deep into the way we live and its impact on the people who are looking at us. We don’t separate work and home life. Everything we do is personal to us.

As media personalities, we understand that we have a responsibility to our audience first, at home and then outside of our home, to be authentic and intentional in what values we want to convey, and so we don’t go about our days by chance. We plan and put into practice lessons we have been gifted with through the years, not only through our education but through the many people who have made themselves available for us to be guided in the way that we should go.

How have your children responded to this project of yours? Have they also contributed to the writing in some way?

They love the idea of putting into one book our love story. They are very much aware of the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of us, but they celebrate how we have kept the course throughout all these years. One thing very clear with our children is that we may not be perfect, but we strive to always do better. They are very much a part of this book and they have endorsed this book as well and shared their stories, especially Hannah who has run a marathon herself, and Ella, who will be married this year.

How would you describe your marriage 10 years ago, at present, and 10 years from now?

Just like in a marathon, you start out like a baby so excited for what’s to come. Then you hit the half mark and you start questioning whether you made the right decision and when you keep going, at some point, you hit a “wall,” when you want to quit and then you start hurting all over. Then just when you are so near the finish line, you cry out to God and keep going, and then you see the finish line, and you freshen up for that finish line photo you are definitely going to post!

The first 10 years of our marriage were very busy years attending to each other and then the children who came – four of them in five years! I was a full-time mom and Anthony was working very hard to provide for us. They were times of laying out the foundations of our training company and nurturing our children, which we also took very seriously.

The next 10 years were spent doing multisport races as a family and getting immersed in a community of friends and business colleagues who were very much into fitness. All of us (six of us then) were very busy training and competing in local and international races. We welcomed our youngest daughter, Solana, who brought sunshine into our lives.

The last 10 years were focused on expanding our businesses and advocacies and making a difference in all the sectors we touch. This is also the time we have focused on allowing our children to explore the world as their classroom and to encourage them to take that leap of faith to follow their God-given calling in whatever field that allows them to help others.

Any future plans to write more books or do more husband-wife collaborations?

Yes, definitely! We also have plans of expanding this book into a workshop where we can also put together a workbook/study guide.

What’s your advice to people who want to write a book – especially one that dispenses life advice?

If you want to write a book, write it right now. Those were the very words my professor in UP, Carla Pacis, told me when I told her I wanted to write my book SuperBenj, which eventually won a Catholic Mass Media Award. If you keep saying you want to write it but never actually start, you will never get to it. Also, be authentic. Don’t lie to your readers and pretend you are someone else to impress them; they will know. – Rappler.com