#AskMargie: Sex Videos (part 2)

MANILA, Philippines - In the first part of our episode on sex videos, we asked your thoughts on the matter and you shared some wonderful insights.

This week, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes asks, "Would you appear in a sex video?"


Script below: 

I asked: Would you ever appear in a sex video?

Here’s what you said:

@minasmom: I would never appear in a sex video even if the purpose is for private viewing only. There's no assurance of confidentiality.

@roldiegomez says: No, wala akong porn star appeal. But seriously, no kasi di ko siya fetish.

Aida Santos: Why should I? I can have sex and not be a voyeur.

Lia Torralba: No, because I don’t want people to up chuck their most recent meal.

Tanya Garcia: No. My memories are more malleable, I can relive it over and over with additions if I want, may voiceover at theme song.

Michael Cruz: Hindi gawain ng normal na tao ang paggawa ng sarili mong sex video.

To which Ging Berdon replies: Please don't call me abnormal. It's something that heightens our experience of sex and makes it more exciting. Making one is not a problem with me, it’s between me and my partner anyway, not the world.

@daphnecrus63 asks: Why the desire to video the act?

Perhaps I should let the ayes—those who felt they might do a sex video—explain:

@jeromemylene: Yes, I want to try it but with my wife only.

@SisongJr: Yes, souvenir. Paki-alam ng ibang tao sayo? Kung gusto panoorin, tangkilikin, if not, then don’t watch.

Yomi Artemus: If the video has a story and it’s not purely sex, it would be nice.

Mark Flores: Why not? When you get old you want to see yourself and say “That's me and my love fucking each other.”

Alfie Mella: If it’s a private video with my wife and we both consent, I might consider it. The ultimate consideration here is if my partner and I really have the capability to keep the video private.

Carmela Fernando: I could imagine shooting an instructional video for my grandkids to use, even if only to demonstrate what NOT to do during sex. It’s funnier to see your ancestors going at it. After my grandkids are done watching me, they will never see the world with innocent eyes again.

Mon Yadao: If you got it, flaunt it. Disclaimer: I don’t.

The most recent celebrity sex video scandal involved popular musician Chito Miranda. So many men said he should marry the girl he made love to, that it’s the only way he can make it up to her.

Noemi Mansibang says: Chito should marry her right away if he is a real man.

Ren Gregorio: Kung talagang concerned si Chito sa girlfriend nya, pakasalan niya. Wala nang magagawa ang paliwanag mo. Ewan bakit kailangan pa i-video yang ganyang moments. Di gawain ng matitinong tao yan.

COMMENTS: A consistent reaction I came across—but mostly from the men—was: If you really love her, marry her. Save her, make her an honest woman. But why? I don’t get it. Why does appearing in a sex video make her so unpalatable that her only recourse is to marry the man who “sullied” her. Sex can be a beautiful act, especially between people who love each other…why should she be considered a slut who no one else will marry simply because her video with Miranda was uploaded. It makes no sense at all!

@lexbonife: The more we make a big deal out of it, the more it shows how sexually fractured we are.

Buwayahman shares: Many amateur sex videos are bad. The video is crude, grainy, poorly lit. The sex is mediocre. The participants are far from attractive. When you see their orgasm expression, you feel they are not having any fun at all. You feel as if they are being tortured.

Let me end with advice from Anonymous, who suggests this checklist for making a sex video:
1. Committed relationship. Unless you and your partner are considering a life together, don’t do it. You don't want to incriminate yourself with anyone outside of your relationship because of a rocky break-up.
2. Make it spontaneous. If you plan ahead, you’re going to suck the excitement from the sex itself.
3. If they ask you to delete it, don't even hesitate.

- Rappler.com