MANILA, Philippines – This week on #AskMargie, clinical psychologist Dr. Margie Holmes talks about the reasons people do it and if we can prevent them from doing so. A continuation of last week's discussion on lying.
I asked, “Why do people lie?”
Desiree Sison: To save their asses.
Maureen Jean Lara: SELF-PRESERVATION.
Sometimes, this self preservation can be literal, as when with…
Bob Couttie: “When the truth gets you beaten up you lie to avoid more beatings.”
Ella Ola- Kintanar: “I have a friend who just lies to make her life more interesting.”
Mark Anthony Cabrera: Because it's the easy way out or because they don’t want to be labeled gossip makers.
ALfie Mella gives some reasons:
1. They have been brought up by parents to always be the topnotcher and to underachieve is unacceptable. When they could not meet such unrealistic expectations, They lie
2. Religion--says so many things are sinful and prohibited. But most of what religion says is sinful is based on natural urges, thus most individuals are doomed to fail and They lie because admitting to it would tantamount to being guilty, sinful
Then, I asked: Is there a way we can prevent people from lying?
Leah Joy A. Serrano: Sadly, we can't. It is their prerogative.
Mei Magsino: I don't think anyone could stop someone from lying, specially if the liar has lived a life of lying. It's ingrained in him and his day won't be complete if he doesn't lie.
Bopeep Espiritu We can’t. Some people will lie compulsively, even for no valid reason. It’s like an itch that needs to be scratched at any given moment. It could be anything from "I’m buying this for a friend" to " no i don’t remember saying that"
Raul J. de Vera Jr.: There are people who hate to lie just to avoid confrontations, etc.
Desiree Sison: No one can stop somebody from lying because it's a personal thing for the liar like personal hygiene or sexual orientation.
Diana Sayson: How can anyone stop anyone from lying short of a physical rewiring of their brains?
Mark Anthony Cabrera: You can't stop them from lying. It's a decision they have to make for themselves.
MOI: Extremely happy the majority of you said no.
Mature and realistic response: We can’t stop anyone from doing anything no matter how hard we try. The only ones we can change are ourselves. The faster we learn this, the less we blame ourselves if people misbehave and, thus, the more accepting we become of ourselves and maybe in time, of them too.
Well, that’s it for today. Have you another point you wish to bring up? Can you suggest a factor we could’ve explored even further? Please comment below so we know what you’re thinking and feeling?